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and they lived happily ever after…

27 Saturday Jul 2013

Posted by Maria Costadini in marriage

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Tony and I have been married for twenty-seven years.  We’ve had great times, good times, so-so times, not so good times and times where we wondered if we should just call it quits. When you’ve been married for some time you go through some stuff and realize it’s normal. The key is learn to love at all times; realize that the enemy is very real and wants to destroy what God has put together; and don’t call it quits.

As women we get in our heads the fairy tale; the…”and they lived happily ever after”. images-1 But in reality marriage is work, hahaha!  Yes I said WORK! You are taking two very different lives, experiences, ways of growing up, and sometimes very different cultures and becoming one; as the Bible tells us. But most of all it takes putting God first in your life and marriage; a three-fold cord is not quickly broken (Ecc 4:12). Keeping God as center of your life and not self, is a lifetime of work!

Earlier this month I heard a message on the “Nine Be’s of Marriage”. Mark Gungor, author of “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage”, was a guest speaker at our church. Just a recommendation, get his book, listen to his messages, if you can go to his marriage seminar…. excellent, practical and hysterically funny! I just want to share with you Mark Gungor’s “Nine Be’s of Marriage”.

1.  Be Nice….  What is the nice thing to do?

Me: How simple is that? Where does it say we be nice to everyone else except our spouse? The Bible tells us to be kind to one another (Eph 4:32).

2.  Be Content… learn to be happy even in the midst of awful circumstances. Count it all joy (James 1:2). Learn the power of praise; learn to celebrate even when life sucks.

Me: Paul tells us that he was content no matter what state he was in (Phi 4:11-13); because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

3.  Be Connected… get plugged in with others, don’t be an island. Find some godly friends as a couple that you can be honest, open and real with.

Me: This is how the devil tries to isolate you, causing you to think you’re the only one’s going through what you are going through.

4.  Be Prepared…life is hard, life is predictable and unpredictable, and life is not fair.

Me: A strong relationship with the Lord will keep you in tough times.

5.  Be Proactive…. you will reap what you sow; do the right things.

6.  Be Clear… emotional people don’t communicate clearly. Tell your spouse what you need from them. Ask your spouse what you want (you may have to do this more than once). Don’t insult when you speak to them.

7.  Be Doers of the Word… live out your Christianity at home.                                    Me: This is a biggy, especially if you have children; don’t be a hypocrite.

8.  Be Patient…marriage is a long-term project; if you’re at the end of your rope….TIE A KNOT!

Me: I love it…tie a knot…don’t call it quits…don’t give up, it’s a long-term project!

9.  Be Dead….your flesh, your selfishness; learn to let go and let God.

Me: Selfishness is the number one killer of any relationship.

I would like to add one more Be to the nine…

Be Forgiving… Ephesians 4:32: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you”.

I believe when you put these into practice; and do what the Word says about marriage, God can change any situation to “happily ever after”.

More resources:

“Nine Be’s of Marriage”- Mark Gungor:  podcast July 14, 2013

Mark Gungor You tube video: Ask More Than Once

 

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Video

son, don’t waste your life

30 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by Maria Costadini in proverbs 31 woman

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

christian women, christianity, divine purpose, parenting, proverbs 31 woman, teach children

Proverbs 31: 4-7  “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, and wine to him in bitter distress of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty and [seriously] remember his want and misery no more”. (amplified version)

562567_507019792691922_659591404_nOur Proverbs 31 woman continues to instruct her son the king. I just want to inject a thought: as children of the Most High God, we are sons and daughters of the King; we are royalty. She is advising him that it is not for kings, or princes to drink strong drink.

Verse five tells us why: drinking causes you to forget, or be oblivious of the law. Why? Because it perverts, alters, changes or clouds your judgment towards those who are afflicted, in trouble, those in misery or depressed. The word “law” also means decree; which spiritually can be translated as divine purpose. So getting caught up in this lifestyle will cause you to be oblivious or unaware of your divine purpose.

I really like the Message version for verses 4 & 5: “Leader’s can’t afford to make fools of themselves, gulping wine and swilling beer. Lest hung over, they don’t know right from wrong and the people who depend on them are hurt”.

I just want to inject another thought: there are so many things that can anesthetize any one of us. There’s the obvious: alcohol, illegal and legal drugs. What about TV, internet, social media, gambling, internet gaming, over shopping, over eating, violent movies, pornography? It could be anything that dulls our senses to our calling and divine purpose, and helping those around us.

Bottom line we are to keep our heads about us, we should not get caught up in a lifestyle that dulls our mind or senses. The reason being: to always remember our divine purpose; helping those in need, those who are depending on us.

It’s like our beautiful Proverbs 31 Woman is saying; “son, don’t waste your life on getting drunk; God has something greater in store for you. God wants to do something powerful in and through you. If you drink you’ll lose sight of your divine purpose”.

What must we do?

  • Be the example

Don’t be hypocritical; don’t do what you are telling your children not to do. They will see through that in a heartbeat.

Proverbs 20:7 “The righteous man walks in his integrity; blessed (happy, fortunate, enviable) are his children after him”.

Integrity is the quality of being honest, having strong moral principles; and moral uprightness.

When you lead a life of integrity your children will be blessed and follow right after you. You’re right living will make an easier path for them. Do your kids a favor….live right!

They learn more from watching you than they do by the words of your mouth.

  • Train your children in the ways of the Lord

Proverbs 22:6: “train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Some kids may take a little detour, but the promise of the Lord is they will not depart from what they have been taught.

Teach them who they are in Christ and how to conduct themselves as such.

  • Speak into their life

Don’t be afraid to tell your kids about life. Better they learn from you and the Word of God, than from some buddy of theirs in the school bathroom.

Speak the Word of God and prophesy over them.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post.

Scriptures to Study:                                                                                            Prov 17:21, Prov 17:25, Prov 19:18, Prov 19:26, Prov 20:1, Prov 20:20, Prov 22:15, Prov 23:13, Prov 23:19-35, Prov 24:3-4, Prov 29:15, Prov 17-18, Eph 6:1-4

Helpful Articles:                                                                               Ten Reasons Kids Leave the Church                                                          Three Huge Mistakes We Make Leading Kids                                                Building Your Child’s Self Esteem  Building Your Child’s Self Esteem Part 2

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Maria Costadini

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